I’ve run more than I ever have this summer, and I still gained 5 pounds.

I don’t want to make another melancholy post about my recent weight trends but … it’s on my mind, its part of the experience, and to not write about it would be dishonest.

I’ve been charting my weight every morning, more or less, since February.

First, take Tuesday. I know I need to eat well. I ate a lot of junk food in the name of carb loading at the race this weekend, when I knew that I didn’t need that many carbs because the race wasn’t that long.

But even though I bring my lunch, it’s really hard to just stick to that. A double-serving size of cereal and I’m hungry again by 10:30 a.m. I maw through most of my lunch (huge chef’s salad, yogurt, popcorn, two apples, granola bar) by 2 p.m. and by the time I leave work at 6, I’m ok, but then I go run and when I’m done, I’m starving again.

I made spinach lasagna and had 1-sixth the pan, an appropriate serving size. But I was still hungry. I shouldn’t eat a second slice, I thought, so I brought out the bread and cheese for snackies and by the end of the night, I’m pretty sure I ate way more calories than I would have if I had just eaten two slices of lasagna.

So that ended up being like, a 3000 calorie day when I only worked out for about 40 minutes.

I can see I’m gaining too much weight. And it’s not like I’m eating because I feel bored or it’s there … or maybe it is, and I’m just not being honest with myself … but I have the taper madness where I want to keep eating like I’m running a 42-mile week but I’m not burning off the calories. And stop that.

And then I got the post from Timehop Abe that reminded me I had stepped on the scale at 150.0 pounds a year ago today. Training for the same race. This morning I stepped on the scale at 158.8 pounds.

Mentally, here’s in the place where I am compared to where I might have been years ago when I started gaining weight. Before I might have been determined to get out the counters and start logging everything I eat. (And that’s a good idea and I probably should still do it). Or start researching new diet plans.

Now, I’ve found myself researching upcoming races and running plans and trying to come up with some aggressive new goal to make me burn so many calories that I won’t have to worry about what I’m eating.

Except I know that is a stupid idea. Here I am, training for two marathons and I gained weight in the past three months when despite having run my highest milage weeks ever this summer.

In other news … check out my adorable new haircut.

I described it to my hairstylist that I wanted a “pixie fauxhawk that will look really good in finish-line pictures after I’ve been running for 5 hours.”

Looking good? :)

Pattie Reaves

About Pattie Reaves

By day, I'm the User Experience and Audience Manager for the Bangor Daily News. By night, I'm a soon-to-be first-time mom and renegade fitness blogger at After the Couch. I live in Brewer with my husband, Tony, and our two pugs, Georgia and Scoop.